What in the World?
by damageddementia
Summary: Today is Jeff's birthday, but something's not right in the world of Jeffrey Nero Hardy... Chapter Two: Jeff's birthday gift!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera, or anything else mentioned that is recognizable.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**I blame Terrahfry and the last episode of _Total Drama Action_ for this. In that episode, Justin, the hot one, suddenly becomes ignored by the two idiots who fawn over him. And Terrahfry once told me about a writer whose Jeff muse was useless. So, Inner Jeff, not only am I making sure that you know you're not useless like that Jeff muse, I'm going to give you what you've been asking for... in September, though. Sorry. You get this today.**

**What in the World?**

Jeff could hardly wait to get downstairs. It was finally the day. The day it was all about him. He laughed. Well, everyday was all about him, really. Everyone loved him. He had hips, legs, lips, and eyes to die for. Everyone thought he was adorable, hot, and gorgeous... even the lesbians and the straight guys.

It was great being Jeffrey Nero Hardy.

He had to pick out the perfect outfit for this day, and he spent all yesterday choosing it. His hair was newly dyed a deep red, and he was wearing a red and black outfit. The pants were black, the shirt was red, and it was all so tight that it might as well be paint on his beautiful bare skin.

He giggled and went downstairs, ready to see how they decorated the house for him. Last year, Matt made them go all out, even getting an arch that said Happy Birthday Jeff on it. It made him smile, thinking about all the perfect balloons and streamers. Matt always made sure he was happy.

Suddenly, he stopped smiling. Everyone was downstairs, but not a single decoration was up. None at all. And no one even acknowledged him as he got to the bottom. "Hello?" Jeff asked, "Is my party at another venue or something?"

Everyone ignored him.

Jeff shook his head and said, "Hello? Birthday boy, twelve o'clock. Say something!" Once again, everyone ignored him.

In the far corner of the room, Matt was sitting between Jason Reso and Randy Orton, who were deep in argument. Every time he tried to stand up, they pulled him back into his seat. Jeff walked over and said, "Uh, Matty? What's going on here?"

"How many times do I have to tell you, Reso, he was naked for me!"

"No he wasn't! He was on my bed!"

"That was my bed!"

"No it wasn't, you overgrown asslick!"

"And how many times do I have to tell you both that I wasn't naked and that I was in my bed?" Matt asked, "Could you two grow up?"

"But Mattie," Randy said, pouting like a puppy, "You have to tell Regal's Sunshine over here that you're mine."

"Mattie, you have to tell Hunter's whiny little girl that you're mine!" Jay said, also pouting.

"Hello?" Jeff waved a hand in Matt's face.

"Jeff," Matt said, "Don't you see I'm busy here? Go play with someone else."

"But it's my birthday, Mattie!"

"Well, whoop-dee. But I think Orton and Reso are about to play tug a war, and I'd like to stop that. Go play with someone else!"

Jeff sighed and walked down the table to where Chris, the Miz, and John Cena were all sitting. Cena was watching the Miz with dreamy eyes that he usually reserved for Jeff, and the Miz was trying to flirt with Chris.

"I heard your album the other day," Miz said, smiling.

"I know," Chris said, "It was such an utter masterpiece that even a little bottom feeding tapeworm such as yourself had to have heard it."

"It was great. I especially loved _To Kill a Stranger_."

"I'm sure my perfect melody and the superb playing knocked your insignificant mind into a tailspin," Chris replied, digging dirt out of his nails.

"Guys, what about me?" Jeff said.

Chris and the Miz turned to him. "What about you?" the Miz sneered, "You're not the Ayatollah of Rockin Rolla."

"That's right, Jeff Hardy, you're not the Superstar of the Year," Chris said, "My time's too precious to waste on a shallow, hypocritical little leech like yourself."

"But it's me!" Jeff whined, "I'm Jeff Hardy! It's my birthday?"

"So?" the Miz said. Chris just laughed and went back to cleaning his fingernails.

Jeff ran to John and said, "Cena, tell me you care about my birthday."

"Do you think Mike knows I exist?" Cena asked, sounding like an adolescent talking about the Jonas Brothers. Jeff held back a scream and went to Shawn and Hunter. Shawn was brushing his hair, and Hunter was holding up a mirror.

"When do I become Sensational Sherri?" Hunter asked.

"Shut up and hold it up. Could you believe that Shelton Benjamin, of all people, told me I have split ends? The nerve! Who is he to talk about hair when he dyed his yellow?"

"I think it's gold, Shawnie."

"Shut up, Hunter!" Shawn said.

"Um, Shawn..." Jeff started, unwilling to believe the total about of ignoring he received.

"Jeff, this is my time with my fabulous hair!" Shawn said, "Go away!"

"But..."

"Shoo fly," Hunter said, waving him away. Jeff moved dejectedly down the table and met the same results everywhere. Dolph and Maria were making out. Melina was helping Ashley paint her nails. Mark and Glenn were having an arm wrestling contest. Cody was planning the unfortunate accidental car crash of someone named Vincent, and Ted was laughing at him. Rob was playing cards with Tommy, Evan, and Terry. Phil was trying to find out how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop. Trish and Amy went off to make out in a corner, and Mickie was watching, the latent stalker in her reawakened by the sight of Trish Stratigas. Shannon and Shane were fighting each other in Pokemon Diamond and Pearl.

It was as if nobody loved him anymore. And this was an utter nightmare.

He walked over to Beth, Santino, Rosa, and Chavo, who were all trying to find out how Ken Anderson always knew which number they'd choose. "Let's try again," Ken said, "Think of a double digit number between 1 and 100. You have your number? Good. Now, add the two digits together. You did that? Good. Now subtract your new number from the original. Once you've done that, add your two digits together." They all did as they were told. "Okay, so..." He went to Beth and whispered something in her ear, and she gasped. Then, he went to Chavo, then Rosa, and then Santino, and they all reacted the same.

"How did he do that?" Santino asked, "I must know the secret, Mr. Kentucky. Give me the secret!"

"Nuh uh uh," Ken said, "A good magician never reveals his secret."

"And it's Mr. Kennedy," Jeff said.

Mr. Kennedy didn't turn around, but he did a sort of half wave. "Thanks, Jackie." He went back to the conversation and Jeff's jaw fell open, shocked. How could someone forget his name? He was Jeff fucking Hardy, for crying out loud!

He walked to Natalya, who was talking to Tyson and David. "Hey, Natalya?" Jeff asked.

Natalya rolled her eyes and looked at him. "Yes?"

"You're sort of a girl, right?"

Natalya made a sound and turned back to her conversation, going back to what everyone else was doing. Ignoring Jeffrey Nero Hardy. On his birthday. And he never got to ask her what he wanted to ask her.

He walked to Adam, the final person he hadn't tried to talk to. "Adam," Jeff said, "I need your opinion."

"Go away, Hardy."

Jeff sighed. "Please."

Adam smiled. "Well, I love it when you beg, so... what's up?"

"Well, I had everyone wrapped around my finger, but now I'm getting no play. No one seems to even care about me. What's the deal?"

Adam snickered. "Honestly? I never really got it, the Jeff Hardy obsession. I don't think you're so cute."

Jeff glared at him. "Like I care what you think!" He marched away and John Morrison walked over meekly.

"You think I'm cute, right?" he asked.

"Of course I do," Adam said, "You're absolutely gorgeous!"

John grinned and sat in his lap. "Thanks, baby." Then, Adam pressed his lips into John's lovingly.

Meanwhile, Jeff was on the verge of tears. How could this happen? This couldn't be true! He was Jeff Hardy! He ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. "Adam's wrong. I am so cute!" He looked in the mirror and pouted. "I am, right?"

No answer. He screamed and punched the mirror. He must be in the twilight zone or something. What the hell could have happened? Even if they were planning a surprise, they weren't all that good at acting.

Then, Jeff got an idea. If this didn't get their attention, then nothing would. He took off all his clothes and went back into the dining room and stood up on the table. "Hey, look at me! I'm Jeff and I'm naked!" He started doing his entrance dance, but no one paid attention. No one cared.

He jumped off the table, crossed his arms, and went back to the bathroom. He got dressed and he sat on the toliet. Love Hurts might as well have played in the background. What in the world was going on?

He heard his phone ring and opened it. He got a text: _I still think you're cute. You're amazing, Jeff._

Jeff texted back: Thanks.

_Want to meet outside? I'll make you feel better._

Jeff grinned and immediately ran out of his house. He looked around, but the texter wasn't there. "Over here, kitten."

He froze. He didn't want to turn around, but he did. And standing there, grinning, was John Bradshaw Layfield.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

"JEFF!"

Jeff woke up, Matt sitting over him. He started breathing heavily and Matt said, "Are you okay? What kind of nightmare did you have?"

"A bad one," Jeff pouted. He pushed his head into Matt's chest and hugged his brother. "Can we watch a movie? Just you and me, cuddled up on the couch?"

Matt chuckled and stroked his brother's hair. "But what about your party? Everyone's waiting for you!"

Jeff grinned. He should've known only in an evil dreamworld would everyone forget how amazing he was.

***********

Jeff ripped open his presents and was happy with all of them. They all got him something good- except Adam, who brought him some stupid briefs. Then, he found an envelope on the bottom with his name on it. Curious, he ripped open the envelope and read:

_Dearest Jeff,_

_Happy birthday! I've got you what you've always wanted. Just wait a few minutes and you'll see what I mean._

_Love, _

_Seraphalexiel_

Shocked, Jeff looked around, wondering what this Seraph person could've got him. Then, suddenly, Chris fainted in his seat. Jeff walked up and Adam and Jay picked him up.

"Seraph said you wanted to top Chris for your birthday," Adam said, "So, where do you want to do this? We'll bring him whereever you want to"

Jeff grinned. _Happy birthday to me. _

**There will be one more chapter, in which Jeff tops Chris. Inner Jeff really did want it, so... it'll come soon. Just the promise of a happy birthday for my little hyperactive Skittlebug.**

**Happy birthday Jeff!**


	2. JeffChris

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera, or anything else mentioned that is recognizable.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**So, I love you, Jeff. Now leave me alone. And let it be known that... I give good birthday gifts. He thanks Edge and Christian for helping bring Chris to his room, and Molly for encouraging him. Here we goes...**

**What in the World?**

Chris woke up with a moan. His whole body ached and the room he was in was barely lit. He tried to move, and slowly got feeling back in his body. He rolled his neck around and rubbed his neck. He didn't remember going to sleep… or getting naked. And this wasn't his hotel room…

"Finally. I was beginning to think you would never wake up." He looked up and saw Jeff smiling at him, sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing nothing but his boxers.

"What happened?"

"You were drugged," Jeff said. His hand crept up his leg and massaged his thigh. Chris bit his lip, mewling at the sensation. "Don't worry, this is my room. It's okay. I'm sorry, it's just… you know how she is."

"Who is she… oh." Chris smiled. "Wow, I… I'm really honored, Jeff. You chose me out of everyone else?"

"Well, quite honestly, I can't choose Randy, Matt, Adam, or Jay…" he said jokingly.

Chris hit him softly. "So I was a last resort?"

"Never," Jeff said, "You're way too cute to ever be a last resort." Jeff pushed his lips into Chris', and Chris kissed him back. Chris began rubbing Jeff's sides while Jeff pushed Chris' head in further, deepening the kiss.

They pulled apart and panted, watching each other. "Wow," Chris said, "Damn, Jeff, if I knew it was like that…"

"It's like that," Jeff said, smiling. "But, Chris, there's something I have to tell you."

"What?" he asked.

"I'm topping," he said.

Chris' eyes widened. "REALLY? But… I've never bottomed before…"

"How cute," Jeff said, "I have a virgin all to myself!" He kissed Chris again, but Chris pushed him away.

"But Jeff… you… you're you…"

Jeff's green eyes darkened. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You don't top."

"Are you saying I can't?"

"Now when did I say that?" Chris asked, "I'm just saying…"

"What are you saying, Chrissy?" Jeff asked.

"I… holy cow!" Jeff pushed Chris down and straddled him.

"I'll show you who I am." Jeff kissed his lips deeply, and then he began to make a trail down Chris' neck of kisses. Chris groaned... fuck, Jeff was good… too fucking good.

Jeff found his nipples and roughly attacked them, biting them and pulling them until they were both hard. He licked each, swirling his tongue around the nipple head.

"You're so fucking hot, Chrissy," he said. He grabbed Chris' cock and began to roughly pump it. Chris moaned, each tug making him harder. Chris began to push into Jeff's hand, practically begging him to finish, to take him over. Jeff grinned and stopped pumping. Chris groaned in agony- he was ready to cum, if only Jeff would take him over. "Don't worry, Chris," Jeff said, "I'll take you over… but I've got a lesson to teach you first."

Jeff got off of Chris and walked to one of the drawers. He pulled something out of it and walked back over. "Do you know what this is, Chrissy?"

Chris knew what it was and looked away as Jeff fit the ring around his cock. Chris could have, of course, taken it off himself… but he wanted Jeff to take care of him. Jeff just smirked and began to go back to work on Chris' body, making him ache with need. Chris tried to relax his body because he knew that what was going to happen next was going to hurt more if he didn't. But despite his best attempts, he couldn't help but cry out as Jeff pushed his finger into him.

"You like that, Chrissy?" he taunted. He was enjoying every moment of Chris' pleasure, and took pride in the fact that Chris would eventually cave and take back the whole 'you don't top' comment.

Chris bit his lip to hold back another groan as Jeff pushed another finger into him. The pain and pleasure made the whole thing unbearable, especially since he couldn't cum. He groaned and closed his eyes. This was not how he had imagined spending his night.

Jeff started stroking Chris' member with his other hand while he fingered his hole. Chris groaned and cried out, needing release. There was no resistance. Jeff had won. "Jeff, stop. Jeff, please. Please, just take me…"

Jeff laughed and continued fingering him. His fingers were pressing directly against Chris' prostate, and Chris was gone in the violent throbbing and horrible pleasure. "Jeffff..." He hissed. He was writhing around on the bed helplessly, unable to do more than that. "I'm sorry! I- I'm so sorry! I'll do whatever you want! Please!"

Jeff grinned and pulled the fingers out of Chris' hole, making him cry in agony. Jeff got off of him to pull off his boxers, and he was hard as well. "My beautiful idiot," he giggled. "Tell me, baby, WHO doesn't top?"

"Not you, Jeffy, you're so fucking good at it…"

"Thought so." Jeff straddled him again and, in one fast thrust, he was inside of Chris. Chris could feel his body fight to push Jeff out, but Jeff kept thrusting in, making Chris moan in pain and pleasure. Oh fuck, he needed Jeff now.

"Jeffy, please... take it off."

"Give me a reason."

Chris pushed up and pressed his lips into Jeff's. Jeff and Chris kissed, and Jeff decided he paid enough.

Jeff pulled the ring off and pounded into Chris a few more times before he began stroking him again. Chris was sure he was going to die, but then his body finally shot his load. It was like fireworks went off in the air, and Chris was shivering as Jeff came in him. Jeff embraced him, steadying the older man, and Chris hugged him back.

"You've learned your lesson?" Jeff asked.

"Yup," Chris said, "You can top. I'm sorry I suggested…"

"It's okay." They kissed, and Jeff said, "Well? Let's go downstairs and eat leftover cake from the party!"

**Reviews Deeply Appreciated**


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